truth and beauty

I have been amazed by something really bizarre recently. I realised everything in this world can be biased, especially here in London. People tend to be in favor of things, creatures or even their own kind that are more beautiful. No one dare to say this out loud but deep inside, we all know the world works this way. My friend said that there's only certain elements which made someone beautiful but ugliness can exist in all sort of ways. Maybe she's right but i think she forget something. Ugliness is actually the beauty of truth. What about money? Can money bring beauty to someone or the material itself is the ultimate beauty? Oh well... everyone has a different answer. One can be the most beautiful person on earth but if he/she is not true to herself and her surroundings, it's worthless.

I'm now in search of fine human beings, not posed, presented as the most natural one in the world and because they are natural, they are beautiful.

- Kodak portra 400VC with Hasselblad 501cm

Alenka, Katie and Manuel

In recent experiences shooting in the studio, i realize none of my shoots go as smoothly as i would like them to be. There's always a "hiccup" in the process, either the model called off last minute or something happen to the crew, this time was the stylist. Therefore, from now on, i making a list of my backup people *just in case*. The good news is, these incidents made me a better planner and also how to deal with things calmly ; As for the result, they can be quite unpredictable.

I rarely follow the direction of the model. However, this particular shoot (the one below) was a different one. Alenka was a good model with a strong personality. She has such an effect/influence in me when i shoot her which i found that amusing and very inspiring. She knew exactly how she will look like in the frames and is a very persistent girl. It's a pleasure working with her.

Special thanks to Katie K., another great professional to work with, who has always believed in me. She has been superb in everything she does. Manuel Fernandes, u rock too !! You never fail to make my shoot an enjoyable one. You are truly a good friend, brotherlike supporter and my lighiting consultant *i will never forget your "red light" theory*. Thanks everyone !!

*Photographer : Raymond Tan Assistant : Manuel Fernandes *Concept and art direction : Raymond Tan *Model : Alenka Dubravova *Makeup and wardrobe: Katie K. * Hair & Styling : Katie K. *Location: London, UK.*

Featured : Anish Kapoor

45 minutes of waiting under the cold and wet english sky was all worthwhile if it's for Anish Kapoor's show, one of the most influential and significant artist of his generation. In an interview, he said ," I have often said that I have nothing to say as an artist. Having something to say implies that one is struggling with meaning. The role as the artist is in fact that we don't know what to say, and it is that not knowing that leads to the work."

His works were all so beautifully done, just like a romantic visions of our scientific past. I can't help it but to take these photographs secretly despite warnings from the wardens.( 5 to be exact) Anyway, enjoy ....

- Anish Kapoor exhibition at the Royal Academy of Arts, London.

- Tall tree and the eyes



- my favourite piece, it reflects the beauty of feminism, its poisons and its desires.

291109

There is always "once upon a time", do you remember, once upon a time, there was a small boy and the small boy was me. He was a baby in a cradle. I dont remember that but i think it's true. So do my parents and my grandparents; they too have their own "one upon a time". It's like standing between two mirrors, you cant see the end but you know that they are there. - inspired by E.H. Gombrich, my imaginary teacher.

As i was browsing through my photographs, i realize something, i'm changing everyday. This one particularly, and now i know i'm a grown man.

- taken in the studio after my latest fashion shoot, london 2009.

le cin'ema

Desires, have you ever wonder if you can fulfill them?

These photographs were all taken in a studio with one of my fav MUA. Very much inspired by the french cinema of the late 70's, i originally wanted them to be even more grainier but i my pal suggested that i should avoid spoiling the model's beautiful face with emulsion dots, hah.

By the way, i'm officially changing my font size to this as i received innumerable complaints from my dear readers, lol. hope this will ease ur eyes more.

*Photographer : Raymond Tan *Concept and art direction : Raymond Tan *Model : Farah Kadri *Makeup and wardrobe: Katie K. * Hair & Styling : Vincent Jansen *Location: London, UK.*special thanks to Manuel Fernandes

goldfish in a bowl

It's normal to hate monday as one will mourn about the passing sunday, the same exact feeling of being in the center of a relationship whirlwind. Like a goldfish in a bowl, I felt like i'm constantly being a subject of both admiration and jealousy through time. A wise lady once told me, " raymond, sometimes, you create enemies by not doing anything." That's so true. Fortunately, I make very good & sincere friends on the way as well. They might not be the same gender, same age gap or even have the same taste or nationality, but somehow being in their presence make me feel accepted and safe. From all this, i learnt a really valuable lesson. One cannot be always logical and well-mannered, as, this world is filled with illogical lunatics who dont have a single clue about their craziness. I'm not sure how to describe them; the word childish seems to under-rate their behaviours. Well maybe that's their way of trying to compensate their under-developed mind and uncivilised background.

i guess that's what make this place we are living in so unique and challenging. Oh btw, i just got myself a new hangout place, a life drawing bar, can't wait to go there again.

- 22nd Nov 2009, raymondt @ curtain road, london.

- special thanks to Kate Kuzminova for taking this photograph

superficial become genuine

ghost 95C : the cold is haunting me. Waiting room, i really like it.

- portrait of lovely Mandy, found somewhere hidden in my pile of negatives, a part from the series; melancholy and fantasy with hasselblad 501cm

The inability to manifest all the essence of time through photography makes it an uncertain art medium, which is fun.

when i rule the world

People could not believe what I've become. None of my photographs represent who I really am, for some reason i just cannot explain. Everyone face this world with a different persona or shall we say, a "mask". Few days ago, i bumped into some of the most random human beings i've ever met in my life. They are slackers but somehow, they are also intellectual. These people do not believe they should be what the world wants them to be, instead, they chose to be expressionist. While talking to them, I question the way i was portraying "raymondt" all these 23 years of life. I always go by the rules, do what i think it's right but somehow, being righteous can be a mistake. Did i always start a fight? Have I not ever treat myself right? All i can understand is that self representation does not always act as a reflection to our existed reality. Look around you, everyone is so f**ked up now. Even the old masters' theories about culture and life can not be an ultimatum. Psychoanalysis theories say a girl should grow up being jealous of her mother while a boy should grow up envying his father. Do u think it applies to our world now? i dont think so.

- signals, summer 2009

I met martian again this week. She is still very beautiful, too bad i'm not courageous enough to tell her. One day, I will do so when i rule the world.